I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
