just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize