It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We have so much sex to catch up on
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
