Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I feel like death gave me a hand job
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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