He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
