Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
