we have pet lesbian snakes
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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