Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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