Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize