I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
