my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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