is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
