she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
