He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
