Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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