there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
last night I used snow as a chaser
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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