I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
