WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize
