Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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