May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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