we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
