Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
