Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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