try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
