Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
