every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize