It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
