We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My vagina is very pro this idea
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
