PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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