I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
