apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
