i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
