The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
