I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
