just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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