I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
