yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
