new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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