I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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