Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
