I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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