farters have to be the big spoon...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
