The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
