I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize