You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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