clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
