I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
