Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
