my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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