Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
