If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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