Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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