So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm like, not good at living.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
