It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
