i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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