you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
