Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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