Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
