You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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